Ever have one of those days when you are so cranky and moody that just someone smiling at you makes you want to smack them? Ever want to take the saying "I want to smack that smirk right off your face" literally? Today I log on to Facebook and see that my 5 year old niece did just that! Yesterday at school, she supposedly punched a little girl in the face. When asked why, the only answer she gave was "Because she was smiling!"Yep, I've been there. I've had days where I just want to wallow in my anger, hold onto the grudge a little longer and smack that smile! Remember the song "I'm going to wash that man right out of my hair" and then they changed it into a commercial of "I'm going to wash that gray right out of my hair"? I've been known to hum that tune while singing quietly in my head "I'm going to smack that smile right off of your face". Most of us have had these feelings at some point, just not all of us will admit to it. I'll admit it!
What stirs these deep, almost animalistic, emotions deep within us? What creates that desire to not want anyone else to be happy if WE aren't happy? And what can we do to change that so that we too are that happier person. I believe that oftentimes, when we are in that unhappy stupor, we are feeling judged by others. We are concerned that if they are happy, and we aren't, they are probably looking down their noses at us. We don't want them to have that superior feeling so we set out to tear them down to where we are. We then live our lives through reality tv or fiction novels to live through other people's stories and evade our own.
The truth is, that when we wallow in our sadness, despair, frustration and depression we are focusing on our situation, our lack of material possessions, and our problems. We fail to see the world around us. We grow angry at anyone who has more than we have or appears to be happy all the time. Author Nick Honrby says “When you're unhappy, I guess everything in the world - reading, eating, sleeping - has something buried somewhere inside it that just makes you unhappier.”
But are others really happy "All the time" or is that just an illusion? Is it really possible to be in a good mood ALL the time? I'm going to argue that it's not. While it may seem that way on the outside, some people are just really good at covering up their emotions. They don't want others to know they don't have a imperfect world as well. But even Jesus cried. Mother Theresa had moments where she was in agony and despair.
Mother Teresa said:
"I accept not in my feelings – but with my will, the Will of God
– I accept His will." She knew that she had a calling that
required her to live above her emotions.
1. Know your purpose. As a parent, your purpose may be to raise the
best, most socially aware human beings possible. Finding your
purpose starts by trying to pinpoint what it is that REALLY makes you happy. I'm not talking about losing 30 pounds or having more money. If those things were not an issue, what is it that you would do that bringsa smile to your face just thinking about it? Is it writing a book? Starting a charity? Volunteering at your kids school? Going back to school or changing careers? Knowing the answers to these questions helps point you in the direction of your passions.2. Take responsibility for your life. While it's easy to blame the system, the job, the spouse for our situation, we have to understand the role we play. Placing blame and making excuses for our situations won't change them. Realizing the role we play in them is a step in the right direction to ultimate change towards a happier life. When we look at most of the happy, successful or fulfilled people on the planet, most of them weren't handed the money or happiness. They have worked hard for it.
3. Create clear, REALISTIC goals. Setting a goal that you are going to go to Disneyworld in 6 months when you are unemployed, probably isn't the most realistic goal and will likely lead to more despair when you don't reach the goal of taking the trip. Start with smaller goals. If a vacation is something you are desiring, start with a night away at a local hotel with a waterpark. Plan on eating in the room to cut down on cost. Reaching this goal will cost you a couple hundred dollars instead of the thousands that Disney would cost, but you will have the satisfaction of reaching a goal. If your goal is to fund your kids college, make it a goal to put $5 a month into a savings account. Having a goal of even $50 can be too much for many families and will make you feel like a failure. Return pop bottles for the bottle deposit and put all of that into their accounts is much more realistic and pushes you in the direction of your goals. Keep your original goals SIMPLE and attainable! 4. Be consistent. Remember that little steps in the right direction are still moving you forward.
5. Make the choice. Each morning when you get out of bed, make the choice that it's going to be a good day. When a situation arises and you feel the frustration creep in, remember your choice from the morning and push the feelings away. Sometimes this is easier said than done, but your life of happiness and peace is only a choice away. Once you make the choice, the rest become easier.
You too can live the life you want to live. You won't always have to punch the unicorn and rainbow people in the face. A life of happiness can be yours!
Would love to hear from you. What have you done, or are going to do, to work to bring happiness as a daily part of your life?
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