Today I got up for school and felt really good. I've really struggled with self esteem lately and have hidden it behind eating. I've gained a few pounds, but nothing too drastic, but I realized this weekend that I'm eating so that I can attempt to hide. In the back of my head, I was telling myself that if I was fat, people wouldn't approach me and I wouldn't have to fake a smile (or hide my smile since it's not good right now). I got dressed, put on some bead bracelets and a big chunky necklace. Black shirt, khaki capris and super cute big black thick heals. I felt GOOD! I looked in the mirror and as I walked out of the bedroom, I felt a pride in my step. You know what I'm talking about. That special outfit that when you put it on screams "DAMN I'M HOT", despite how may feel any other day of the year.
I walk into school in the cafe and sit down. Jacob was with me and so I was getting him situated with a movie on the DVD player so I could study for a test I had coming up in an hour. A lady sits down behind me and comments on how cute he was. She asked how old he was and then proceeded to ask "And when is your next one due?" I didn't know what to say. In that brief 2 second pause, so much went through my head. I thought about saying a date or "3 more months". I really considered lying and pretending I was. Instead, I decided to embarrass her with truth. I told her that I'm not and she fell over in the booth, totally humiliated. "I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry". I said "Listen, I have five kids. I'm in school fulltime and so is my husband. I don't have time to work out and so I wear my 'baby weight' with pride. It's sort of my 'battle scar" and turned around.
A friend told me I should have responded with "They hid your adam's apple really well. I really can't see it" or "When do you finish your transition surgery?" Truth was, she was a beautiful 5'11", very thin black model looking lady, but maybe something like that would have made her think next time before she talks.
Another friend said I should have responded with it being a very fast growing tumor.
How would you respond? I'd love to hear other witty comments you'd come back with, just in case it happens again!
2 comments:
I have had that comment. In fact at Christmas time there was a little girl about Anthony's age at church. She looked at my and then said "SO you're having a baby" Very matter of fact. Not a question. I was taken aback. You can't be bitchy to a 7 year old. I just politely said, "no, there is no baby" and walked away wanting to cry.
I think you answered just the right way. Being honest is always the best choice - and coming back with an ugly comment certainly wouldn't accomplish anything.
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